A Network of Affordable Elder Mediators
MEMORY LOSS
Memory Loss and Elder Mediation
Dad has Alzheimer’s, Mom is in denial and your sisters and brothers have lots of opinions and very few facts, but no one except you is putting in the time to help dad.
To add to the complications, your dad needs more help than you can manage including home health care and its past time to make some concrete plans for his future living arrangements. Each time you try to bring up the subject of how to pay for his care, you are challenged by your family. But you are the one who ends up taking dad to the doctor, or be the one waiting in the emergency room at 2 am. You are at your wit's end but what can you do?
Call an Elder Mediator
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Elder Mediation brings together all the people important to the decision making process. From siblings, spouses, aunts and uncles to best friends and can often include a family attorney, financial planner or geriatric care manager as part of the dialogue so that all the key players are either together in the room or participating via teleconference or Skype
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Everyone gets to talk (or vent or cry) and problem-solve to reach an agreement with the elder mediator guiding the participants to resolve the ongoing conflicts.
When the mediation is about a a person living with with memory loss sometimes it is difficult to include them in the mediation itself, but the loved one’s voice should be heard. When he or she is not fit to participate, include their voice through a representative such as a spouse, best friend or sibling.
Talking to Someone with Alzheimer’s
• Identify yourself and always use their name
• Use short, simple words and sentences
• Speak slowly and clearly
• Give one-step directions and ask one question at a time
• Wait patiently for a response
• Repeat the information and only question if necessary
• Try to give solutions, rather than ask questions
• Give emphasis to key words
• Turn a negative into a positive
• Give easy-to-understand visual cues
• Avoid quizzing and challenging questions
• Give very simple explanations
• Write notes as reminders or when it’s confusing
• Treat your loved one with dignity and respect
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Remember, someone with Alzheimer’s disease has difficulty expressing thoughts, emotions, and understanding others. However, you can apply these helpful tips to more effectively communicate with a loved one no matter how difficult it may become.
